Today, we are setting out to do the first clean up on the property. We are grateful for the support. It is what we need to do – and the panic is along for the ride. Right now, as it stands, our home is a pile of rubble. But it is still something that exists. After we remove the debris, nothing will exist there but a memory. I feel protective of the site. I will ask those who help us today to treat it like doing surgery on a baby. I will say, "Shhhhh, please be very very gentle, very kind, very loving. Whisper while you work, hold love in your heart. Gentle..." They will be doing surgery on my heart and what remains of this dream. We will be searching for artifacts to remind us of what once was. We will build an alter with our remaining skeletal possessions.