Sunday, May 13, 2012
Home is where the heart is and where the mothers are
Many thoughts arise on this foggy Mother’s day morning. Rather than indulge my typical considerations of being a childless woman, I send appreciation and love to all the mothers I know – and I celebrate my treasure box of friends who mother each other. If I sang praises for each of the glorious women I have in my life I would never be able to remove my fingers from the keyboard. So today, I will clamor on about two beloved momma friends and of course my own momma. And, I will update you on the journey to our new mother ship, the sweet vessel Flame.
The plan: move out of Lynn’s (another mother I cherish yet the tale of our journey together needs it’s own platform) on Friday and spend the first night in Flame.
Actuality: rain, snow and unseasonably cold temperatures which discouraged decision to stay a first night in lightly insulated aluminum cylinder. Felt it wouldn’t be good for mental health which appeared to be strained after day of packing little belongings we have which still took all day and coupled with putting finishing touches of sparkle & shine to welcome the beloved McHeffey’s back to their magnificent abode.
Course correction: spent the night at the Wilson’s returning to the cozy basement where I sojourned the first few nights after initial displacement.
I must say that being with the Wilson’s is good medicine. The nightly routine here is tucking these angel girls in bed and reading stories. David and I jumped at that prospect. Actually, my “jump” was to be enveloped between the two lovely souls while David read to all three of us. Awwwww. In those precious moments, all was right with the world.
Again, the Wilson’s welcomed us with open arms and hearts coupled with a genuine invitation to stay as long as we need. Hmmmm. A year? How does a year sound, Jessica? I love it here. I love being in the metaphorical bosom of one of my best and dearest in the whole wide world. Jessica is a rock. We first met as massage therapists – she fresh out of school, me a veteran (not) with a mere 6 months experience. We decided to share office space and became the best of friends pretty dang fast. Bottom line: Jessica is one of those people that I am not sure I could live – or would want to live – without. We made a “no leaving” clause early on so we have liberty to unmask our dark side with each other. There is great freedom that comes with not having to “behave”. So often in life, we are overly concerned with what people will think of us. We try to be good, kind, friendly, and polite – and we can drown in that soup of nice.
Jessica and I have allowed a richer experience than that. We get in fights (not frequently but when they happen, they seem ferocious). We are both strong willed women with passionate conviction. Relatively recently, (pre-fire) she decided for some odd reason that I was drifting from her and my startled response was an f-bomb diatribe to rival any rowdy sailors’. Translation: “I am not going anywhere, I adore you, I need you, I am never leaving this friendship, you are stuck with me forever, don’t ever doubt it, ok?” It came out a little differently than that... but after my rant, I felt relief – that kind of deep relief that you only can feel when you tell the ultimate truth. (This may not be your cup of tea, but I would suggest not knocking it til you try it!). I then marched up to her house completely able to give her a more ear-friendly version.
Having to “behave” is confining. I am certainly not suggesting that we go around dropping the f-bomb at will, or that we give up common courtesy. I AM completely in favor of having friends with whom you can show your soft underbelly and your down and dirty brand of humanity. Fortunately I have cultivated these types of friendships with my peeps. We have walked through thick and thin together and we absolutely know (even when we forget temporarily) that we will be there for each other forever. Yes, I know there are no guarantees in life but this is one thing of which I am absolutely sure!
Now back to “the plan”. We actually moved the trailer to her new home on our land with the help of Chris Meehan – my brotha by another motha and David’s dearest bosom buddy. (I know that guys don’t say “bosom” buddy but the thesaurus on my Mac can’t find anything more adequate to describe that bond) Chris dropped what he was doing to come and assist this momentous move and to be there for us. He understood the magnamity and treated it with love in his heart and commitment in his soul. I know I have mentioned the Meehan’s before but today a special shout out to that fine family. We are not just friends, we are kin. We fit together like lock and key – a part of them is with us and a part of us with them. You already know Dusty as “the Goddess” but today I want to express more admiration for that exquisite creature who shines her light so brightly for so many. There are lights in the world and then there is Dusty: a light so luminous that it doesn’t just fill a room, it overwhelms it. Darkness melts in her presence and us lesser-lit folk become whole simply being in her space.
Both Jessica and Dusty are extraordinary mothers. I watch them with their girl-pairs and learn more about what it means to love. Their daughters are in different stages of life – Jessica’s girls 3 and 5, Dusty’s 10 and almost 16. They are all exceptionally beautiful girls, being raised by mothers who are self-aware, strong, passionate, bold and fiercely loving. These girls have the foundation to become self-assured, bold women in ways that many of us had to earn through trials and tribulations. Of course there are no guarantees but at opportune moments I will remind these girls of who they are and where they come from. I plan on being in their lives for a very long time.
And, of course, a special acknowledgement of my own strong-willed, beautiful, brilliant and talented mother who is way too far away from me right now in sunny central Florida. Thank you momma for influencing me with a love of horses, hugs, beautiful art, dancing, laughter and much much more. You are a beautiful soul and I am glad you didn’t give up on having children after your earlier heartbreaking miscarriages. I am grateful to have you as my mother, my teacher and my friend.
My mom was a belly dancer, an artist and a wild-child in the 70’s and now in her 70’s she still is in many ways. Speaking of belly dancing, last night, David and I attended another Goddess friends belly dancing show in our little bedroom community of Conifer. Sheila – aka Sheika – leads a troupe of dancers called Mountain Kahai. How glorious on a misty, rainy (yes, still!) and chilly Saturday evening to be bathed in the soft light from the stage as countless dancers expressed the beauty of womanhood in all shapes and sizes. The colors were rich, the moves exotic, the beauty was real. My lovelies Jessica, Susan and Lainie danced and Dusty and I snuggled in the packed auditorium. The plan after the show was to (really this time!) move to the trailer. Yet as we exited the high school into the driving rain we detoured to Jessica’s again.
I know when to say when and attempting to bring the dogs in through the mud and wet cold for our first night is not in the best interest of my still fragile psyche. Rain, snow, sleet or hail we are going there this afternoon in the light of day to settle. I did a happy dance when I hung my modest wardrobe in the closet yesterday. I have hangers! I have a closet! And, I know I told you already about my drawers!!! I adore that trailer. She is lovely, welcoming and she is home.
Home is where the heart is. This morning my home is in this snuggly bed in Jessica’s basement, sitting next to David as he reads to Cassidy with Tigger snuggled at my feet and Roscoe curled up on the floor. Home is with my soul sisters. Home is our 1967 Airstream named Flame that waits for us on our land to begin a new phase of this adventure called life.
And, one more happy mothers day to all you mommas out there. You make the world go round.