A Government for the people, by the people...

Yesterday, around 30 neighbors and families attended a hearing at the Capitol on proposed House Bill 32 152, which would raise caps for compensation for fire victims.  Representative Cheri Gerou (a mountain area resident) co-sponsored the bill with Representative Bob Gardner. 

I haven’t been to the Capital since college.  The building is beautiful and Gerou and Gardner chose to have the hearing held in the old Supreme Court chambers, an elegant vaulted room with towering stain glass images of original Colorado settlers.  The room was perfect as we discussed our fine state and what it stood for: the Wild West tamed for habitation infused with the spirit of independence formed by a community of like-minded people.

The words “by the people for the people” emerge from the fog of my formative years.  I googled this to recall the source: Lincoln’s famous quote from the Gettysburg address. “…this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom; and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

I have always taken government for granted.  I have been of the trusting variety.  I believe in the goodness of people and the promise of our elected officials. I know we are all human and no one can be perfect so I forgive a lot.  I tune out people’s rants and raves about corruption.  When my stepfather sardonically says, “we are the government, we are here to help,” I stop listening.  Until now, that is.  I am disillusioned, I am dismayed, and I am disgusted.  And, I am very very sad about this.  My veil of denial has been lifted and it leaves a painful rawness in its wake.  I am now on the receiving end of our governments finger pointing, blame avoiding and lack of responsibility taking shenanigans. 

As I reviewed the day yesterday, I studied recent reports and articles.  Marshal Zelinger, an investigative reporter for Channel 7 and a clear friend to us fire victims, has been working his butt off to uncover the inconsistencies in our elected officials responses to this government caused disaster.  In a recent article, Zelinger quotes our swashbuckling Sherriff, who apparently can’t read.  It begins relatively harmlessly:

"We're not saying that somebody should not be held accountable," Sheriff Ted Mink said. "All we're saying is there's no criminality that we have come up with."

I tend to agree.  Even though the Forest Service employee’s actions lead to the excruciating death of innocent civilians and the destruction of millions of dollars in property, I am not sure they are criminals.  Certainly, they were careless and negligent.

From Wikipedia: Negligence (Lat. negligentia, from neglegere, to neglect, literally "not to pick up something") is a failure to exercise the care that a reasonably prudent person would exercise in like circumstances. [1] The area of tort law known as negligence involves harm caused by carelessness, not intentional harm.

Now here’s where the Sherriff’s Office departs from reality: "The reports confirm previous assumptions that a prescribed burn conducted by the Colorado State Forest Service caused the fire. Based on the review of all available documents and witness interviews, it was determined that the CSFS followed or exceeded the parameters set by the Lower North Fork burn plan, and that no criminal violation of the Colorado Revised Statutes occurred."

Zelinger points out this is all a fine interpretation except for the tiny fact that: “A report by the governor's office, released on Monday, showed that the state forest service violated its own burn plan by not patrolling the area of the controlled burn on that third day -- Sunday -- the day before the controlled burn blew up into the Lower North Fork Fire.”  Hmmmm, "followed or exceeded"?  How do they figure?

Zelinger goes on to ask Mr. Mink, "How can the Forest Service follow and exceed the burn plan and violate it at the same time?"

Mink replies, "All I know is they did not go out there on a Sunday. The burn plan says periodic monitoring, and it doesn't give a prescribed day or time or day or whatever the case is. You can interpret it in different ways. We interpreted it that they did follow and exceed it in the criminal part of our investigation."

Apparently, Mink did not read the Governors report which stated that procedure calls for 3 days of monitoring after a controlled burn…

It gets worse. Bill Bass, the leader of the fact-finding team that issued the report states, "For the life of me, I've looked through this thing, and it was a professionally written plan, it was professionally implemented, albeit one mistake on a patrol on Sunday."

Albeit one mistake… one small error in judgment.  A decision not to follow protocol even after high wind and red flag fire warnings were issued 3 days earlier.  Apparently checking the weather is not on their checklist.  And, Sunday being a day of rest and all... 

That illustrious “burn boss” decided it wasn’t necessary to go on patrol on Sunday, saying that the site looked good and the weather prediction was favorable.  Favorable for fire, that is.  I mean really? 

Bass goes on to say, the absence on Sunday did not make a difference in how the fire grew...  Did not make a difference, really?  Me thinks he doth protest too much. 

"That would be speculation on my part, but I don't think it would have changed the outcome," Bass said. 

I-D-10-T alert!

Now, I will go throw up.  Seriously.  We have all heard of politicians pulling their bullshit and the government shirking responsibility.  We have heard it so many times that we are numb to it.  Until, we are directly impacted by it. 

The government needs to be free to act in its capacity not obstructed by concerns of liability therefore we have what is called the “Governmental Immunity Act”, otherwise known as “Sovereign Immunity”.  It began with the notion that “the king can do no wrong.”  It makes the Country, and the States that utilize it, immune from prosecution.  And, I get it, up to a point.  If a police officer kills a pedestrian in a high-speed chase, he (or she) cannot be sued.  If the police were not protected from this, they could never chase criminals; the stakes would be too high.  But what if he happens to be drunk?  Is he still immune?  Obviously, there are many gray areas.

In 1987, a 17-foot boulder was dislodged by a Colorado state highway worker, rolling off a mountainside, smashing into a tour bus and killing 7 people and injuring dozens more. 

The Governor at that time, Roy Roemer, stated,  “It's a terrible accident.  Quite frankly, it's our responsibility to make it right.''

He said the state would pay medical costs for the injured, help bring family members to Colorado and provide counseling. ''I am personally accepting responsibility for the state,'' he said. ''We'll let the lawyers catch up with us later.''  (New York Times 8/11/87)

Roemer went on to make good on his promise.  They didn’t know where the money would come from.  Part of Sovereign Immunity is to place caps on financial liability.  At the time the cap was $400,000 per incident.  Now, it is $600,000 per incident – for all involved.  Roemer and his supporters found a way to compensate victims.  They took the money from the Transportation District. 

Our beloved Governor, John Hickenlooper, is taking an opposite tack from former Governor Roemer.  Instead, he is playing the game of duck and cover.  Having glad-handed a few mountain residents in his 15-minute tour after the fire, yet claiming to have spoken to dozens of people - which none of our neighbors recall… He now states his vehement opposition to the Bill, citing “a dangerous precedent would be set if changes are made to the caps”.  To this concern, Rep Gardner responded, “It will be a precedent I will be proud of.”   Continuing in this vein, Gardner said, “Perhaps if the State accepted responsibly this time, they might be more careful in the future.” 

Yesterday, the fire victims had our say.  Sam Lucas son of Sam and Moaneti Lucas, choked back the tears as he shared, "I said goodbye to my parents by kissing their 20-gauge steel casket.  An open casket was not an option with my dad", due to the fact his father’s body was burned beyond recognition or any help that an embalmer could provide.

From a KWGN Channel 2 report:

Just moments before he and his wife perished in the Lower North Fork Fire, Sam Lucas was told by a 911 operator the wildfire was simply a prescribed burn.
 “This is Sam Lucas. We live up in the foothills and we just got home and it looks like there’s a fire right at the foot of Cathedral Spires,” Lucas tells the emergency dispatcher in an audio recording released Tuesday.
 “That is a controlled burn,” the dispatcher interjects, cutting off Lucas mid-sentence. “The Forest Service is out there on scene with that.”
 Lucas: “We’ve got 79 mile an hour winds up here. And they’ve got a controlled burn?”
 Dispatcher: “Yes.”
 Lucas: “Oh, wonderful. Thank you.”
 Dispatcher: “Uh huh. Bye.”
 The bodies of Sam Lucas and his wife, Moaneti, were found at the charred remains of their home on Kuehster Road the following day.

I am not going to describe the other failures in the system right now as I have detailed many in an earlier post. 

The rest of the neighbors shared memories of our dream homes, stories of precious and irreplaceable items lost, harrowing tales of the day when no one knew what was happening and repeated calls to 911 lead to a false sense of security. 

After I testified, I was cross-examined by Rep. Dan Pabon who was particularly prickly during the entire proceedings.   I described the loss of memories and irreplaceable mementos.  Pabon then questioned me saying, “The proposed bill won’t be paying for those…” I responded, “Yes, we all know that.  You can’t give us back our memories.  Sometimes the only way to make things right is financial compensation for loss.  You can’t bring back our priceless objects.  You can do the right thing.” 

The testimonies ended with Scott Appel showing a picture of his deceased wife Ann.  He talked about his unexpected delay in returning from a business trip, repeated calls to his wife where they discussed what she should do, her reports of calling 911 and receiving assurance that all was “under control”.  A short time later, she was burned alive, her remains not found for days. 

Responses from the Governors and Attorney Generals office followed.  As David Blake from the Attorney General’s office read his statement to the committee he expressed his condolences re: our testimonies – from his already printed notes.  Not too canned there.  Neighbors glanced at neighbors in disbelief.  We really felt the “authentic” compassion flowing from the higher ups. 

Our champions, Gerou and Gardner told us there is money that could be made available for us.  None of us want to get rich off of a settlement yet we see the money as a gesture of accountability on the part of those who carelessly caused this fire to rage out of control.  Most of us are not expecting that Forest Service employees should do jail time, however, we are dismayed to hear that the head of the Forest Service stated, “No one will be losing their jobs.  No one did anything wrong.”  

An overriding concern expressed was that if caps were raised for us, it would retroactively screw all of those who came before us. 

The fact is harm has flowed from a governmental action.  As Cheri Gerou so eloquently stated, “sometimes, doing the right thing isn’t convenient.”  She closed by saying, “These people are changed.  They have nothing.  Let’s give them something.” 

The Bill passed with a vote of 8 to 3.  The next step is the Senate - and if it passes there, it will go to the Governor who will certainly veto it.

We are sorry to those who came before us.  We wish the government had stepped up for you.  It may not step up for us either – yet we will fight.  We will fight for ourselves – for those who perished as well as for those who come after us. The government will screw up again.  Perhaps with more painful financial caps as retribution, they won’t be so careless in their decisions.  And, maybe they won’t take Sunday off.  

*******************************

If you want to know what you can do to help, follow the links listed in this article.  Study and see for yourself.  Then write letters, lots and lots and lots of letters.  Specifically to Governor Hickenlooper, Attorney General John Suthers and Sheriff Ted Mink.  Express your opinion.  Support this Bill.  Another concern expressed by those opposed is that under this bill, the victims won't have the right to sue.  We don't anyway!  And, $600,000 divided between all those impacted won't go very far.  This is a diversion tactic by the powers that be.  

We welcome your support.


To Contact the Governor, go to: http://www.colorado.gov/cs/Satellite/GovHickenlooper/CBON/1251592968310


Sherrif Ted Mink:
Jefferson County Sheriff's Office
200 Jefferson County Parkway
Golden, CO 80401-2697

For the Attorney General John Suther:

1525 Sherman St.

Denver, Colorado 80203

P: 303-866-4500

F: 303-866-5691

Attorney.General@state.co.us

Consumer Line: 800-222-4444

http://www.colorado.gov/cs/Satellite/GovHickenlooper/CBON/1251592968310

Sick

I did it.  I read the report.  And, now I feel sick.  I smell my own sweat in my stress reaction. I will share some of what I read.  And, some of what I heard at the Town Hall meeting last night. 

But first, I must say that there are those who are already saying we mountain residents should buck up.  We chose to live in a fire zone so what are we whining about.  I have actually seen comments such as these.  To that I say, when it’s an act of God, a fire is still devastating – and yes, we live here knowing this is a possibility.  We, like many of our neighbors had a “defensible space” around our home.  And, ironically, we received a grant from the Forest Service to preform this work.  They approved the thinning and marked trees that needed to go.  We also had a metal roof, fire resistant decking and metal siding on 1/3 of our house.  This fire was not an act of God.  It was an act of human error - and bureaucracy at it’s finest.   So yes, we are a little mad. 

I must remember, it’s always the ignorant that spout off at the mouth and are critical of a victim’s response.  We are all familiar with the “blame the rape victim” reaction.  “Well, she shouldn’t have been wearing such a short skirt and walking the streets by herself…”  These morons are to be expected.  When they turn up in our government, it is a little more disturbing. 

I will hit some of the “highlights” of the Prescribed Fire Review (ordered by the Governor’s office) dated April 13^th, 2012 with some editorial comments in italics:

There were record snowfalls in February – and then an abrupt pattern shift resulted in the driest and one of the warmest months of March on record.  All snowfall gains were depleted.  The weather pattern supported a high frequency of wind events, exacerbating the drying of fuels along the Front Range.  Sounds like a good time to stage a “controlled burn”, dontcha think?

March 23^rd marked the beginning of changing atmospheric conditions that became more conducive to support large fire activity…  A new record temp was hit in Denver on the 22^nd of 76 degrees.   Perfect…

A Fire Weather Watch was issued on March 24^th for the 26^th.  The Incident Command Officer patrolled the area on foot and ATV seeing no heat within the 200 feet of the perimeter. 

Even with the Fire Weather Watch predicted, they decided that no patrol was necessary on the 25^th…  Yet, the findings in the report state: “No patrol operations occurred on Sunday 3/25.  The burn was unstaffed.  Leaving the burn unstaffed on the third day following ignition is not consistent with burn plan requirements.   The plan states: “The fire will be directly patrolled and monitored for a minimum of 3 days following the initial burn, and then until significant moisture is received of the fire is declared out.”   Why would they choose to not follow protocol?  Why did they ignore the Fire Weather Watch?  Well, Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest…

On Sunday the 25^th at 526am, the NWS Forecast reported: “Fire weather watch in effect from Monday morning through Monday evening with strong winds and low relative humidity… “

Then at 1215pm on the 25th, the NWS upgraded the Fire Weather Watch to a Red Flag Warning. 

Aren’t they glad they stayed home? 

On Monday the 26^th, the NWS issued a “Red Flag Warning with 60mph gusts of wind.” 

At 10am on the 26^th, the Incident Commander and 2 firemen arrive in a pickup truck at the scene for patrol.  Had to sleep in, couldn’t get there earlier, I guess…

At 11am, conditions begin changing at the site – winds increasing.  At 1230, crew on the site notice “embers” being blown. 

At 1pm, they discover small spot fires outside the perimeter.  They order another fire engine – but no firefighters.  (hmmmm, don’t worry fella’s, we got this!)  They notice an increase in smoke and at 140pm, and discover a new spot fire outside the perimeter of the “controlled burn”. 

Within 15 minutes, the spot has grown to 1.5 acres and was “growing fast”.  Additional resources are called in and arrive at 2pm.  By 230 it has grown to 7 acres and is declared “an escaped fire”…

Predicted meteorological conditions were consistent with historic fire events across Colorado. 

Lessons learned (it SERIOUSLY says these things….): 

• Chunks of charred material in the black can reignite on a hot windy day when exposed to ember wash.  Hmmmm, this is big news for our “experts” who have years and years of forest fire experience…
• Recognize that an area that gave a problem during blacklineing could be a problem area during subsequent ignitions or mop up
• Pay closer attention to the weather. 
• Residual heat sources can be an escape threat during high winds
• Patrol and monitoring needs to be more responsive and adaptive to changing conditions
• Portable weather stations are a great source of site-specific weather info.  Make sure they are properly maintained (The wind direction sensor was malfunctioning since March 19^th…)

I will only briefly mention some other breakdowns in the “perfect storm”, including the failure in the Reverse 911 system which called people across the country to evacuate, yet didn’t call most of us who had Littleton or Morrison addresses (every home that burned had a Littleton address)…  Or the breakdown of communication between the fire departments on scene…. Or the reports of citizens being told “not to call every time you see smoke” (as reported in the Denver Post).  Or worse still, the tragically poignant recording of Ann Appel (who died in the fire) being assured by a 911 operator that crews were on the scene, she hanging up sounding relieved… And, there were many transcripts with calls such as this. 

Last night at the Town Hall meeting, Mike King (on behalf of the Governor) discussed yet another breakdown - the chain of command of the Forest Service has no single line of authority – and thusly no single chain of accountability.  The Colorado State Forest service is a division of Colorado State University, and is managed by two different departments.  A perfect storm of bureaucracy at work…

During the open Q&A session, Mike King also shared this illuminating insight with a small group of concerned citizens, “the person in charge of the burn is dealing with a terminally ill family member” and "his head really isn't in the game."

To quote my husband on his blog:   

“First of all, I would like to offer my deepest sympathy. I can imagine how distracting and heart wrenching that must be. I can imagine that because I just lost nearly everything I owned and almost lost my wife in that fire. So, I can guess at how that could impact someone’s judgment. In my case, I have had to ask people to cover for me on days when I cannot think straight because I am aware that I am not functioning at full capacity. That is because, it does not matter how I feel about it or what my intentions are, if I do not perform, I am ultimately responsible.”

A perfect storm of human error destroyed our homes and killed three people.  King closed by saying, “We can’t make it better.  We can’t make it right.  But we understand what you are going through….” 

Really? 

The Cloud

Have I talked about the irony of the weather on my birthday?  On April 2^nd, it drizzled then turned to snow, when a mere week earlier that would have prevented the fire.  Today it is overcast again.  We are socked in, in a cloud.  We mountain folk need the moisture  – and our parched, scorched land needs it desperately.  We also are hoping for rain to clean the sooty stains that mar the earth, rocks and turn the barren landscape into a filthy mess.  Uninhabitable is what it looks like right now.  So, yes, even though the moisture came 1 week too late, yes please to the rain gods.

Items spun through my mind again this morning and late last night.  I remember a metal raven sculpture with cute fat feet, a handmade jewelry box full of my silver bracelets – a collection I didn’t wear but had for eons.  In that box, were a few other treasures including a voice recording of my first mentor, Susan Hansen who died way too early for many of us.  Now, I will only hear her voice in my head. 

Keepsakes and mementoes are ways we stay connected to significant times.  They bring us back and remind us of who we once were and in many occasions how far we have come.  I still had a selection of love letters from my significant relationships prior to meeting David.  This didn’t threaten my husband and I am sure he had some as well.  Of course, I kept the handwritten collection of poems from David – including the first he wrote me 1 week after meeting.  Fortunately some of these are digital, but many aren’t.   Ahhh, all the things we hold on to, cling to, deem as necessary... 

I thought these mementos were vital.  They grounded me in a past, they demonstrated I was loved; they showed a reflection of me in others eyes over the years.  It was always profound to read mementos from the years during my addiction where I was self-destructing but people in my life still loved me and thought I was special. 

What do they prove?  Nothing really.  Who am I without them?  Everything I ever was – and more, really. 

Yesterday, a friendly reporter for on Denver’s 7 News interviewed me on camera at the site.  (It aired last night at 10pm, and I forgot to post it to Facebook… Still can’t remember anything.)   Camera rolling, we talked, he asked questions, I answered and we meandered for an hour.  I shared the ups and the downs, the roller coaster of emotions, the daunting task of the inventory list, the generosity of the community, the rallying together of the neighbors, the fright of that chaotic day.  I sifted through rubble and cried when I described the flecks of gold in my granite counter and the wood floor in my bedroom.  David and I soaked up the details while in that house.  We fully experienced moments – they were rich, comfortable, safe and cozy.  I loved looking at the colors of the wall, contrasting against other colors.  Deep purple in my office, sage green in the hallway.  I loved my wooden stairs where dog toenails had scratched a trail and the sound of them echoing under my feet.  I loved running up the stairs to my room and taking 3 right turns while holding the custom railing that our dear friend Jason Champion crafted for us.  I loved the blue-green washed wall in the bathroom that was such a unique combination of colors that we could never match it with touch up paint.  I loved the glint of the stain glass that Sandy Fifield lovingly crafted for us – a moon and star set against a sky of azure.  I loved the handmade barn wood doors that David made – and am happy I grabbed his “Green man” wood carving off my office door. 

When I last left my house, I really didn’t think it would be the last time.  It was surreal, a rushed exit making split second decisions of what should come into this next phase of our life.  I grabbed what made sense in the moment in my over-stressed noggin.

During this entire experience, I have never once wondered “why me?”  It hasn’t even occurred to me to ask that question.  I know I am not in this alone – 26 others lost their homes and 3 died.   I don’t know what each of the Kubler-Ross stages of grief will look like for me.  I believe I will cycle through versus spend a lot of time in any one.  That seems to be my pattern.  The one I am most concerned about it depression.  Depression to me is being stuck in my head, flat, low, and tired.  Not quite hopeless – but sometimes hopeless that it will ever feel differently.  I also tend to turn my depression in on myself.  It becomes extreme self-doubt and self-criticism.  This morning, I started to doubt my writing.  Maybe I won’t have enough to say, maybe it’s boring, and maybe I shouldn’t write every day…  I am choosing not to indulge in this thinking.  My writing has now become my outlet.  I know there are people listening on the other end.  I have friends who say reading my posts has become part of their morning routine.  And, it has become my morning routine. 

While writing my first book, Waiting for Jack, I wrote constantly – since that time, I haven’t had a regular practice.  I have been writing my second book but fitting in my writing around other things.  Now, 7 days in a row, I start my day this way.  I pray I can continue and will continue.  I don’t know exactly where this writing is going but I know it is therapeutic.  I always tell my clients to write their experience, write their lives, write the pain… shouldn’t I apply the same to myself? 

So write, I will.  I won’t overthink my words, I won’t edit (besides a few obvious typos that right now look like a sea of red slashes across my screen).  I write quickly and write what it there in the moment.  I don’t know what I will write when I sit down.  A first sentence starts to come as I place my fingers on the keyboard; the flow starts to happen as I go.  I pause in a few places and wonder what comes next, but I keep my fingers moving. 

And, I ask you to keep the comments coming.  It helps to know I am talking to someone.  I am doing this for my own process – and I am sharing my journey with you for a reason.  Ever since getting sober in 1989, I have learned to process through conversation.  When I first heard authentic tales of darkness as well as hope, it gave me permission to have my own feelings.  I know that by writing, I give others permission to express their deepest darkest worries, concerns and fears.  Sharing joy is wonderful, but why should we be alone with our dark side? 

Thank you for reminding me I am not alone.  Today, I do feel the grayness of the sky.   I am still praying for the much needed moisture, but I pray for the sun to shine internally.  And, I am stalled out on how to end this.  My head in my hands, I stare.  I feel tears wanting to come, a lump in my throat.  I think I will end this now and go rest my head on my babysitter of the day, the goddess Dusty Meehan.  She sits waiting for me to be ready to speak, coffee cup in hand, the patience of a saint.  She will allow me to cry but for some reason I don’t want to.  The damn hasn’t broken in a few days.  Only small tears have poured out.  Ahhh, now I remember that is what my depression wants.  If I keep my tears inside, I get tired, feel buried.  Alright, I will stop writing and promise to go cry – to go have a big cry.  Right now.  Ok, ready…  1, 2, 3….